Fred gets home late one night and his wife,
Linda, says, “Where in the hell have you been?”

“I was out getting a tattoo,” Fred replied.
“A tattoo?” she frowned.
“What kind of tattoo did you get?”
“I got a hundred dollar bill tattooed on my privates,” he said proudly.

“What the hell were you thinking?” she said, shaking her head in disdain.
“Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?”
“Well, for one, I like to watch my money grow,” said Fred.
“Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.

“Three, I like how money feels in my hand.
“And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want.”