A Welshman buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool:
After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep is getting pregnant and phones the vet for help.
The vet tells him he should try artificial insemination.
The farmer doesn’t have the slightest idea what this means, but not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant.
The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead, will lie down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant.
The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought.
He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means that he has to impregnate the sheep himself.
So he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives the sheep out into the woods, has s*x with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
The next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep.
Seeing that they are all standing around, he deduces that the first try didn’t take and loads them into the Land Rover again.
He drives them into the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed exhausted.
Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around.
“Try again,” he tells himself and takes them out to the woods again.
He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out of the window.
He asks his wife to look and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.
“No.” She says.
“They’re all in the Land Rover and one of them is beeping the horn!”