“The Conners” Cancels Whoopi Goldberg’s Guest Spot: “She’ll Drive Down Ratings”

ABC’s super-woke sitcom-turned-social justice warrior showcase, “The Conners,” announced a special guest appearance this season by none other than Whoopi Goldberg.

Then the letters and emails started.

It seems that nobody, not even the uber-wokers who watch that garbage, wants anything to do with Whoopi after her latest stunt.

According to our source at the network, the episode has been officially canceled and the cast will have to reshoot without Whoopi’s character.

“We were gonna re-cast the rolls with Alyssa Milano,” said director Joe Barron, “but she was otherwise occupied with an Elon Musk lawsuit.”

What does that mean for Whoopi? It means she won’t get the $3 million payout for appearing in 4 minutes of poorly-written dramacom, and she won’t get the points she needs to qualify for a floor seat at the Oscars this year.

“It’s a little bit unfair,” said Goldberg’s spokesman, Skip Tetheludah, “considering we weren’t informed of the rule change until after midnight last Tuesday. Under these circumstances, Ms. Goldberg should be able to re-qualify by picking up a spot on Grey’s Anatomy.”

Of course she wants to just bypass the rules and do what’s best for Whoopi Goldberg, patriots, because she’s Whoopi Goldberg.

For what it’s worth, Whoopi was also canceled from Star Trek. God Bless America.

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