Anheuser Busch Fires Its Entire Marketing Department After “Worst Mistake In Bud Light History”

Bud Light sales are down more than 80 percent this morning after Kid Rock let it be known that he really dislikes their use of a trans person in marketing campaigns. In response, Augustus Anheuser III personally fired the entire marketing department at the company.

“We have a very particular retail customer base,” said Anheuser, “they don’t like wokeness. They don’t agree that they should have to accept immoral people and their lifestyles.”

Former marketing director Joe Barron says he doesn’t regret the decision. “Every company does a pride thing. These idiots are all jumping to Coors when Coors started it. They’ve been advocating for LGBTQ rights for decades.”

That doesn’t matter, according to the vibe across the internet. If you’re a real American who loves guns and God and thinks Kid Rock is cool even though he writes shitty music, you’re probably in the process of switching beers. Michelob light is a great alternative, as is Natural Light.

“We’re getting a new marketing campaign up and running,” says Anheuser,” we’re considering asking Kid Rock to come aboard if he can forgive our misguided past.”

Kid Rock’s spokesman, Art Tubolls, said Kid is more than eager to entertain the notion if the price is right. God Bless America.

Related Posts

World’s Thinnest Woman Receives Fan Mail to Be Like Her

Valeria Levitin, the world’s thinnest woman, bravely confronts the dark allure of extreme thinness. Despite her emaciated state, she refuses to glorify her condition, cautioning against aspiring…

DONALD Trump pays tribute to Melania’s late mother: ‘An incredible woman’

Donald Trump paid tribute to his late mother-in-law, Amalija Knavs, who passed away at 78, on his social media platform. Describing it as “a very sad night…


Since the singer seemed to have lost a considerable amount of weight, magazines have been covering Céline Dion’s health. Her admirers expressed worry, claiming she no longer…

Joe Biden Acknowledges the Possibility of His Health – “Legitimate” Concern for Voters

As Joe Biden approaches his 80th birthday, he finds himself in a unique position, leading the United States as its President, and contemplating a bid for a…

Michael J. Fox on Staying Positive After Terrible Loss: ‘She’d Never Add Up the Losses’

Beloved actor Michael J. Fox has endured a tragic battle with Parkinson’s disease since his 1991 diagnosis. In 1998, he courageously revealed his condition, becoming a powerful…


In the quiet twilight of an extraordinary life, America’s oldest statesman, Jimmy Carter, has been enveloped in the serenity of hospice care for over a year, a…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *