Man Submits Hilarious Job Application To McDonald’s

The following is an actual job application that was submitted to a McDonald’s in Florida. The man was reportedly hired on the spot because his application was so hilarious!

Name: Jeremy Skitt
Sex: Not yet but I’m waiting for the right person.
Desired Position: Reclining. Ha ha. but seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
Desired Salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. It that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
Education: Yes.
Last Position Held: Target for middle-management hostility.
Salary: Less than I’m worth.
Most Notable Achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

Reason For Leaving: It sucked.
Hours Available To Work: Any.
Referred Hours: 1:30-3:30pm, Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
Do You Have Any Special Skills?: Yes but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
May We Contact Your Current Employer?: If I had one, would I be here?
Do You Have Any Physical Conditions That Would Prohibit You From Lifting Up To 50 LBS?: Of what?
Do You Have A Car?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “do you have a car that runs?”
Have You Received Any Special Awards Or Recognition?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
Do You Smoke?: Only when set on fire.
What Would You Like To Be Doing In Five Years?: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
Do You Certify That The Above Is True And Complete To The Best Of Your Knowledge?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.
Sign Here: Scorpio with Libra rising.

Related Posts

World’s Thinnest Woman Receives Fan Mail to Be Like Her

Valeria Levitin, the world’s thinnest woman, bravely confronts the dark allure of extreme thinness. Despite her emaciated state, she refuses to glorify her condition, cautioning against aspiring…

DONALD Trump pays tribute to Melania’s late mother: ‘An incredible woman’

Donald Trump paid tribute to his late mother-in-law, Amalija Knavs, who passed away at 78, on his social media platform. Describing it as “a very sad night…

THE END OF A LEGEND. PRAYERS NEEDED FOR CELINE DION

Since the singer seemed to have lost a considerable amount of weight, magazines have been covering Céline Dion’s health. Her admirers expressed worry, claiming she no longer…

Joe Biden Acknowledges the Possibility of His Health – “Legitimate” Concern for Voters

As Joe Biden approaches his 80th birthday, he finds himself in a unique position, leading the United States as its President, and contemplating a bid for a…

Michael J. Fox on Staying Positive After Terrible Loss: ‘She’d Never Add Up the Losses’

Beloved actor Michael J. Fox has endured a tragic battle with Parkinson’s disease since his 1991 diagnosis. In 1998, he courageously revealed his condition, becoming a powerful…

PRAYERS FOR JIMMY CARTER!

In the quiet twilight of an extraordinary life, America’s oldest statesman, Jimmy Carter, has been enveloped in the serenity of hospice care for over a year, a…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *